Top ten things to never say to someone with multiple sclerosis

Source: tedlillyfanclub 

10. Smug person: “Are you sure it’s not just all in your head?”

MSer: “Of course it is all in my head! And a bit in my c-spine too. Sit down. Let me show my MRI.”

9. Shallow person: “That’s not MS. That’s old age.”

MSer: “So for some strange reason I have just aged thirty years in five seconds. I feel so much better now.”

8. Helpful person: “You should look into (insert list of wildly bizarre alternative remedies here).”

MSer: “Thing is, I am a little overwhelmed right now and that is about the tenth suggestion I have received just in the last hour on things to look into that might or might not be helpful. How about you look into it and get back to me, okay? Great, thanks.”

7. Clueless person: “Oh, that’s nothing. I get that all the time.”

MSer: “Really? Nothing? Damn, I have been shooting myself up with drugs made from Chinese hamster ovary cells for the fun of it. Think I am making that up? Get a magnifying glass and check out a box of interferon injections.”

6. Conceited, self-centered person: “You’re tired? I’m really tired, too.”

MSer: “Tired huh? Last night I started sobbing at the idea of brushing my teeth as my arm was too exhausted to lift the tube of toothpaste. Are you THAT tired?”

5. Ignorant person: “You could die from this, you know?”

MSer: “Dammit it! I thought this meant I was going to live forever. Geez!”

4. Optimistic person: “But you don’t look sick to me.”

MSer: “That’s wonderful news. Could you call my doctor and let her know? Maybe she got it all wrong.”

3. Sarcastic person: “You can’t just blame MS for everything.”

MSer: “Watch me!”

2. Curious person: “Isn’t that what Michael J. Fox has?”

MSer: “No, this is the disease that Montel Williams has. You know, the disease where he wrote that book and said it was OK to smoke pot. Got any on you?”

1. Opportunistic person: “How do you get one of those handicapped parking thingies anyway?”

MSer: “You’ve got to go see my buddy Vinnie down at the RMV. He hands them out for fifty dollars and a subscription to the beer of the month club. Here, let me give you his number.”

~ Yvonne deSousa